The Hidden Life of Cecily Larson (2024) by Ellen Baker
Back to novels as a **self-care** read to take a break from clinical content.
Here’s a novel that exemplifies developmental trauma, insecure attachment, inter-generational trauma, the effects of being misaligned with one’s core sense of self, having to live with the consequences of hard choices that didn’t align with one’s core values, and a perfectly imperfect family system held together by love and secrets, lies, and betrayals.
This story follows the life of 94-year-old Cecily Larson, to include twists and turns of an unconventional trajectory embedded in historical context and experiences that are not always developmentally appropriate. Hers is a story of survival and resilience, as well as full of experiences where she is lacking appropriate resources, support, or even agency. Congruent trauma responses interfere with her future relationships, mistakes are made, as are choices that were imperfect but exemplify someone doing the best she could given the circumstances. These life choices go on to affect the generations that follow as the story outlines themes related to accountability, compassion, and forgiveness. Additionally, there appears to be a parallel theme related to how secrets create barriers in relationships and disconnection, in contrast to the truth bringing everyone together. While I appreciate the sentiment (and the fact that this is a novel), this very complicated and nuanced story does get tied up into a very neat happily-ever-after bow in a way that may not be wholly realistic. But, again, it’s a novel; a story. And sometimes it’s nice to see how things can come full circle and be resolved in the end in a way that can highlight both the negative and positive consequences of misguided choices.
How did I hear about this book: I honestly don’t remember–it’s been in my library queue for a while.
Would I recommend it to colleagues: Not necessarily
Would I recommend it to clients: If clinically appropriate…
How do I apply this content to my work: The first thing I thought of was my work with clients using EMDR to unlearn negative core beliefs and/or reprocessing the understanding of relationship dynamics with care-givers and how those patterns continue to play out in current relationships. As we are processing this work together, an important part is often to re-evaluate these early developmental experiences from the perspective of the adult self and try to let go of responsibilities that were never ours to absorb, reassess the validity of the negative beliefs that often influence our connection (or disconnection) with our core sense of self, and/or to process anger and resentment and replace with compassion for the fact that the caregivers who caused harm were often doing the best they could with the resources (or lack thereof) they had (while still holding them accountable for their behaviors–very important to note that). We, as humans, are not infallible. Nor are we immune from the contexts in which we live. Sometimes, shit happens and we have to figure out how to do the best we can to survive. And also, we have to be held accountable for the impact those choices may have on ourselves and the people around us.
If you are in WA state and struggling to heal from the impact of developmental trauma and/or inter-generational trauma, contact me and let’s talk about how I may be able to help you.
