Getting Naked: The Quiet Work of Becoming Perfectly Imperfect (2026) by Valerie Bertinelli
In an act of courageous vulnerability, actress Valerie Bertinelli strips down literally and metaphorically as she embraces and integrates her greatest insecurities and challenges the external expectations that have been projected on to her (by society, family, trauma, and her public role as an actress). Bertinelli shares her honest experiences facing and processing her shadows, shedding her masks/facades, and standing grounded in love and acceptance with her core sense of Self. She shares the valuable insight that her focus on trying to fix all the things that were “wrong” with her externally (especially her challenges with body shape/size and combating the aging process) were a superficial distraction–that healing and finding a sense of peace came from facing and working through the traumas and other internalized shame she had been suppressing.
How was this book recommended to me? A client of mine was reading it and recommended it to me
Would I recommend this to my colleagues? Sure
Would I recommend this to my clients? Sure, when appropriate
How do I apply this content to my work: One of my goals for supporting the healing of my clients is helping them shed the defensive masks of protection they have cultivated over the years (often in survival response to trauma) in order to uncover their core sense of Self. In the context of secure rapport and co-regulation, I aim to walk with them to face their greatest experiences of insecurity, fear, shame, guilt, trauma, rejection, threat, etc. and to soften the defenses against them and work to integrate them – to shift from avoiding or suppressing, but to feel grounded enough to hold them to open up space to come into alignment. “The only way out is through” is a phrase I once heard as part of my healing process. Healing comes not from coping skills (which I also read in one of the books I recently reviewed), but from approaching the pain dead-on and working through it (in layers, of course). I’m always honestly sharing this with my clients as I both warn (informed consent) and validate that the healing process is not an easy process, and frankly, often totally fucking sucks (let’s be honest, the emphasis of the F-word here is applicable). I have mad respect and appreciation for the work that Valerie Bertinelli has done and her willingness to courageously share it with the rest of us.
If you live in WA state and feel like you need support with facing your internal challenges to move forward in your healing process, contact me. Let’s schedule a free 15-minute consultation and see if we might be a good fit to work together.
