I'm Glad My Mom Died (2022) Jennette McCurdy
Jeanette McCurdy is a former child actor with a history of child emotional and physical abuse, and chronicles her story of how these two facts are deeply enmeshed. As a result, Jennette finds herself amidst a successful career as an actor that she never wanted (as evidenced by appearing as one of the main characters in a long-running television series followed by taking on the lead role-in a series spin-off wherein she has also become financially secure as a young adult) and deeply entrenched in an eating disorder, addiction, and maintaining a series of unhealthy romantic relationships. After recounting her childhood in detail (trigger warning), ripe with dysfunctional family system, financial insecurity, and wildly enmeshed boundaries with a mother who exhibits many many traits of various personality disorders, Jennette initiates recovery via therapy, and is faced with reckoning how the one person she loved, even revered, most in this world is also the person who caused her the most harm. The death of her mom from cancer may have given Jennette the space she needed to re-evaluate the relationship dynamics more objectively and allowed room for Jennette’s recovery journey on cultivating her own authentic core sense of self as opposed to the version of her Self that she co-dependently developed in a desperate attempt to make her mom happy (as she felt completely responsible for managing her mother’s moods).
How was this book recommended to me? I think I just heard about it via the zeitgeist.
Would I recommend this to my colleagues? Yes
Would I recommend this to my clients? I could see this book pairing well with The Adult Child of Emotionally Immature Parents.
How do I apply this content to my work: While I don’t specialize in eating disorders, I do specialize in trauma and addiction and have worked with many clients who describe comparable dynamics with parents. The childhood experiences McCurdy describes are traumatic in and of themselves. But coming to terms with the realization that the person you were most attached to and felt most safe with was actually the person causing you the most harm and putting you at greatest risk, can also be traumatic. As a trauma therapist, I have different modalities that can help with offering support and healing with all of the above. Additionally, my training as a dance/movement therapist and as an addictions counselor can help heal the addiction, as well as support the client in dismantling the facade and connecting with and developing their authentic Self. As harsh as the title of this book may seem to some, sometimes it takes the death of someone we are hyper-attached to in order to be able to initiate the healing and recovery process.
If you live in WA state and feel like your struggles as a result of trauma and/or addiction have led to feeling disconnected from your core sense of self or as though you are a “shell of yourself”, contact me. Let’s schedule a free 15-minute consultation and see if we might be a good fit to work together.
